(1997 words) by

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Musketeers (2014), d’Artagnan Romances (Three Musketeers Series) - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Athos, Porthos (Trois Mousquetaires)
Additional Tags: Food, BDSM
Series: Part 1 of Kink Bingo Fills

"Left to his own devices, Porthos suspects Athos would always drink too much and eat too little; and as someone who grew up treasuring every morsel, he can’t really understand it, never will. But what he does know is that Athos will eat for him, because Porthos wants him to; and the heady cocktail of power and tenderness this knowledge fills him with is overwhelming."

Kink Bingo fill: food.

Heyyyyy lookie lookie it’s 17th century food! Plus BDSM! And it’s dedicated to me, I’M SO HONOURED (breathtaken is a very thorough and intelligent writer and asked me a few questions about 17th century food habits, I will probably post my answers  to her in the form of an article later, for those of you who might be interested in more information on the subject)

Okay so I just realized something

The first scene in which we see Aramis in episode one is him lying half-naked in bed with Adele and telling her where he got all his scars; it’s a sexy scene that ends up with her kissing him, you can say that the scar-mapping thing is used by Aramis for flirting

And then in episode 3 he does the same, but about Porthos’ scars.


Pass it on.

(Aramis is so in love with Porthos I can’t)

The Musketeers more like “one for all and all foursome” amirite

Musketeers Meta: Milady de Winter, the living-dead assassin

So the season finale is over, it wasn’t as brilliant as I hoped it would be but was still quite good. I’m a little unsatisfied with how Milady was written; not that it was completely horrible, she’s still quite awesome, but.

But I don’t think she was fully developed, the way she was promised to be in the first few episodes — personnally, I fell in love with her in episode 2 where she was basically murdering people and stealing stuff and messing with people’s head for shits and giggles apparently, and I thought, “FINALLY! AWESOME! A Chaotic Evil female character!” And she was so efficient and amazing as an assassin and spy, I just loved her.


(gif source: )

So I kind of developed a whole interpretation of her which I think turned out to be more headcanon than actual writing in the show, except for a few shining moments (the whole conversation she has with Richelieu in episode 7 about afterlife and Hell, for one, that fits my headcanon just beautifully).

Anyway, here’s a little meta (mostly headcanon) that I whipped up right after seeing the last episode of The Musketeers, about Milady de Winter (it’s a bit of a mess, I have lots of feelings, please bear with me):

I would have liked something developed around the fact that psychologically, Milady is living-dead.

"Dying" changed her, she’ll never be the same again, staying alive is to her an absurdity, which turned her character into something out of this world, "chaotic evil", if you will, a goddess of chaos. She lives to stir shit up, to see things happen, to have some kind of impact on the world which makes her feel alive (well as close to it as can be). Seeing people writhing, fighting, suffering around her, trying to save their skin, their reputation, their honour, their soul; all those things that seem so futile and meaningless to her, and about which she just doesn’t give a fuck anymore (it’s still fascinating to her though, watching all that, why it would matter to "them" so much, like watching insects’ unfathomable behaviour under a glass. Richelieu understands. People like insects fumbling around. Which is why she stays with him, even though he’s more attached to this world than she is).


(gif source: )

RICHELIEU: I’m afraid that if I die, I’d go to Hell.

MILADY: You’re already in Hell. Don’t you recognize it?

She’s not scared either; nothing, no one scares her anymore, not Richelieu, not anyone, she’s way past all that: she’s already been through the worst possible thing when the man she loved executed her. Granted, she knew she was a criminal, and she wasn’t sorry about it, but she still had love in her, so much love, it was probably the only thing she still considered “pure” about who she used to be, and Olivier de la Fère killed it.

Athos “died” too, back then, at the same moment and they both have suicidal tendencies but for different reasons. For Athos, it’s because he hates himself and remaining alive after killing his wife is his weakness and his abomination and he would like this responsibility to be taken away from him but that’s his cross to bear (staying alive is a form of punishment he inflicts on himself too), for Milady it’s because she lost this metaphysical fear of death, so she is completely reckless because she doesn’t care. They became mirrors of each other, not perfect copies, but similar in more ways than one, this is where their co-dependency (“The world seemed diminished without you”) comes from. The execution (murder Dumas insists) of Anne de Breuil created both of them, which is why Milady’s destiny is entwined with Athos’s, why she still seeks him out (in my headcanon, she didn’t kill him back in the burning castle because when she saw the locket she realised precisely this, that Athos (I should say the Comte de la Fère) had changed too, became another, and it wouldn’t be the same man who killed Anne (why would she kill someone who’s already dead?). She didn’t realise this when she orchestrated his execution in episode one, but after she discovered the locket around his neck, did you notice she stopped wanting him dead at all costs?)

In the end, Milady became a true psychopath, detached from her emotions, devoid of empathy, and the only thing that still hurts her is precisely the fact that she’s not able to feel anything anymore, for what she was is dead and it’s the only death she grieves.

It’s Time - a Third Star fanvid by sevenswells

Film: Third Star (2010) - starring Benedict Cumberbatch, JJ Feild, Tom Burke…

Song: It’s Time - Imagine Dragons

Spoilers/Trigger Warnings: none as far as I can tell

Comment: This vid turned out more joyful than I intended, even though there is at least one moment in the middle that’s a bit darker, but in the end I think it also suits the movie, which is not as hopeless as it seems, while it treats its subject with a lot respect.

tl;dr: movie pretty & much emotion, wanted to make vid on pretty & emotional song, Benedict Cumberbatch is brilliant, and so are Tom Burke and JJ Feild

Musketeers Meta: 17th century French cuisine

Tumblr user fa-grayce asked on The Musketeers tag what would be appropriate for our musketeers to eat, and I happen to have a lot of feelings about 17th century French cuisine (about food in general, but 17th century French cuisine in particular, because Cyrano de Bergerac is one of my favourite plays ever and act II opens basically with food porn for no reason and it’s awesome).

17th century is precisely the time where French cuisine come out of the Middle Ages; it’s a time of new techniques, new products, and general innovations. 17th century is the “Grand Siècle”, the Great Century, and obviously it called for a Grande Cuisine too because hey, THIS. IS. FRAAAAANCE!!!! Before that time, there was virtually no cookbook published for centuries, and in that century one of the first great French cooks called La Varenne published “Le Cuisinier François” (“the French cook”) which became a best-seller (and which kept being re-printed until 1815!). It’s the very first cookbook that details rules and principles of cooking.


To understand 17th century French cuisine, you have to understand how it’s different from medieval cuisine first.
Medieval cuisine used lots of spices (in the nobility, mainly, but not in order to mask the dubious freshness of the meat like many people seem to think — in fact meat in the Middle Ages arrived probably fresher in the kitchen than it does today; but because spices were expensive, and it showed you had a lot of money. Also spices were believed (turned out to be true) to have curative properties. Medieval cuisine is also loaded with sugar and honey, or sweet and sour taste; 17th century is where savoury makes a big come back and it’s what cooks would call  a “return to the product”, where you don’t try to mask its flavour with other stuff so much. Medieval cuisine hid the taste of the ingredients, 17th century (supposedly, at least it’s the theory behind it) puts it forward and the visual quality of the dishes improve a lot too. Sugar is reserved for desserts from then on (see: cakes, at the end of this article). I’m a great fan of Chinese cuisine and I enjoy a lot of different styles of cuisine from all over the world, so it’s funny to me how French cuisine is still kind of allergic to sweet and sour taste in a dish to this day; and most French people I know aren’t very fond of it either.


In the 17th century, people pay more attention to how meat is cooked so it gives out its full flavor. An ancestor to the gas stove is invented, called a “potager” (a “potager” can be in French a patch of land where you grow vegetables, but at that time it’s also where you make a “potage”, which is a vegetable soup) that worked with cinders (basically you put cinders — taken from the chimney fire — in it to heat it up and then you could put your pans on top of it). Daubes (meat cooked in a pan, generally with red wine, for a long time) and ragoûts (meat cooked with vegetables, again for a long time) become common place. There’s also lots of roasted meat, cooked in the fireplace with a spit and a recipient called “lèche-frite” underneath to catch the dribbling cooked fat and juices (to be re-used in the sauce); the meats are cooked for a very long time. Fish, poultry, most meats were served whole; people spent a lot more time at the table eating than we do today.


Sauces are perfected too, in order to accompany meat, and fresh aromatic herbs replace the medieval spices: chervil, bay leaves, thyme, parsley (very popular, because also very decorative), chive, rosemary, tarragon. To give more flavour to the sauce you could also use the technique of reduction (wait for water to evaporize out of the sauce, which leaves a concentrated flavour behind) or make a jus, which is a kind of sauce that re-uses the juices escaped from the cooked meat to pour it back on top of it. In medieval times, sauces used to be thickened with bread; La Varenne replaced those bread sauces with roux (flour and butter added to broth) and he also replaced pig fat with butter; lots of eggs and cream were used too; so you can see that 17th century cuisine defined the bases of what we call French cuisine today.
Garlic is rejected by the aristocracy but can be consumed by lower classes (and is used in Gascony cuisine too). Smelling of garlic could indicate that you came from peasantry. Capers, anchovies and shallots are very appreciated; new vegetables are starting to be used (they have to be very fresh and harvested early): peas, asparagus, cucumber, cauliflower and artichokes. NO salads, and next to no vegetables are eaten raw (they even cooked cucumbers; stuffed them first then cooked them).


D’Artagnan is a noble and, as they say in the show, a farm boy (those two notions are actually compatible at the time, not all nobles were powdered prissy people as the cliché would have it). He also comes from the South-West of France, he’s a Gascon, and Gascons KNOW THEIR FOOD. So no, he wouldn’t eat the ancient equivalent of mac and cheese and hot dogs; he may be young and single, and no matter his BBC portrayal or what they did with him in the American adaptations, a credible d’Artagnan would have been raised to eat GOOD SHIT. He would take pride in dishes and produce that come from his home region and dismiss other regions’ variations on traditional recipes — I have to remind you he’s FRENCH, that kind of stuff is SRS BSNS to us, even (or maybe more so) in the 17th century. That doesn’t mean he’ll prepare them himself of course, I don’t think he would know how to (although I think he must know how to kill and pluck a goose, duck or chicken, skin a rabbit or a deer, even milk a cow; he’s a noble from the countryside, albeit not a rich one, he must have had a few servants but I can imagine that he and his father probably helped them out on the farm because they must not have had enough hands anyway — BBC!d’Artagnan seems to have good knowledge of farm animals, or at the very least horses, if we remember the line about setting the horse to a canter pace in episode 3, so we can assume he’s not afraid to get his hands in the dirt).

Gascony cuisine (“cuisine gasconne”) is actually a very famous type of cuisine in French tradition throughout centuries; Gascony is the land of “bien-vivre et bien-manger” (good living and good eating). Today we know it as South-West cuisine, which is based, then and now, on duck/goose fat (in opposition to Provençale cuisine - South, South-East of France — which uses mainly olive oil to cook, or Normandy cuisine (North-West of France), which cooks with butter). So lots of ducks and geese in Gascony cuisine, goose and duck confit (goose and duck cooked and preserved in their own fat), pâtés, terrines, sausages, foie gras, cured ham… Lots of venison, products of the hunt (mainly birds, like pigeons and larks).
Gascony is also near the sea so you also have sea food, like oysters, eel (eels were very appreciated, because their flesh is fat; they did love their eels pâté in those times) and fish of course
And Gascons know their wine too. Not in a “Sideways” or connoisseur kind of way, you wouldn’t see d’Artagnan tasting wine and say “oh yes I can smell raspberry and humus and there’s a touch of vine leaves in it” or whatever so don’t do that in your fanfics, it’s not only OOC it’s historically inaccurate (the kind of wine they drank in that day was not the kind of wine we drink today anyway, most of the time it had to be cut with water to be drinkable at all, otherwise it was just too thick or too strong); they just know what’s *good* wine and what’s not.
As for typical vegetables in Gascony, you have sweet pepper (piment doux de Gascogne), beans, a lot of very good and refined mushrooms like ceps and truffles; nave, onions, cabbage…
CAREFUL THOUGH, no tomatoes and no potatoes! Even though they were around, they were considered toxic at the time and weren’t very much in use; so NO meat-and-potatoes menu!

So how do those Musketeers feed themselves if they want to eat good food (and not the one prepared by the cook in the musketeers barracks that we see in episode 4)? Well if they don’t have a cook of their own, they eat in hostels, mainly, or they go to other people’s places where they do have a cook (in the first book that’s what the boys do when they’re out of money: each one in turn, they call favours with (rich) friends of theirs to have dinner at their place, and they invite the other three guys of the gang along. D’Artagnan, being on his own in Paris, managed to find a Gascon priest and they apparently have teatime with chocolate at that priest’s place)


Okay so if you ever want to read GLORIOUS food porn, read at least the beginning of Act II of the play Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand, where one of the characters, Ragueneau, is a “maître-queux” (a cook and a pastry chef) and a poet (isn’t he the MOST RAD CHARACTER EVER???). At Ragueneau’s place, Rostand describes white peacocks (!!) on hooks, venison, hams suspended all around… and then begins a great choreography of sous-chefs bringing in piles of cakes: there’s brioche (a type of sweet French bread made with butter, milk, sugar and eggs, very moist and delicious, sometimes perfumed with orange flower blossom essence), petits-fours, fruits in nougat, flan, roinsoles (fried pastries filled with fish or meat), tarts, pies, a big masterpiece of a brioche in the shape of a lyre (!!!), decorated with glazed fruits and its strings are made of spun sugar (Ragueneau rewards handsomely the sous-chef who brings him that work of art because Ragueneau is awesome like that), pâtés (pâtés designated either the meat terrines or puff pastries filled with meat and sauce, a bit like Cornish pastries), choux filled with cream, gingerbread, poupelins (a type of delicate pastry made with butter, milk, eggs, flour, sugar and lemon zest) and finally, the most famous of them all because Ragueneau composed a brilliant and adorable poem about them, “tartelettes amandines”, almond-flavoured tartlets (if you ever put tartelettes amandines in your Musketeers fanfic, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER).

In the 17th century the art of jam-making (yes! An art! Absolutely!) is also born, which produced compotes (fruit purée), gelées (jelly) and marmelades. Tea, coffee and hot chocolate start to become fashionable drinks.

So there, I hope this will help you if you ever want to make dishes as an homage to our boys the musketeers, or if you want a spot of food porn in your fanfics, or just if you want to know more about the history of French cuisine; at least I can say I had a lot of fun researching and writing this :)

Okay so there’s kilometers of meta about 17th century French cuisine written by yours truly coming right up, stay tuned.


Happy 170th Birthday, Musketeers!

On the 14th of March 1844, the very first chapter of “The Three Musketeers” by Alexandre Dumas was published in the newspapers “Le Siècle”.

Today March 14th, 2014, we’re celebrating the 170th birthday of one of the most influential French novels — or just novels full stop — of all times.

Happy Birthday Musketeers, your fandom is still alive today! :)


TheSOPA (Stop Online Privacy Act) bill has resurfaced and is once again trying to be passed.

The link attached will take you to a petition. Unless this petition reaches 100,000 signatures by next week, this will happen:

  • All websites containing media that refers to or is owned by a company that hasn’t given its permission for the media to be displayed can and will be shut down. This means sites such as Tumblr, Wattpad, Pinterist,
  • People who post such media can and will be fined, with a maximum sentence of five years in prison. This includes, but is not limited to, people who own/post the following: fanfiction, fan art, roleplay blogs, fan blogs/accounts and movie streaming sites.

"The legislation would allow copyright holders and the Justice Department to seek court orders against websites associated with copyright infringement. SOPA, the House version, applies to both domestic and foreign websites, while PIPA targets foreign websites. If that court order is granted, the entire website would be taken down. Internet users who typed in the site’s URL address would receive an error message, and for all appearances, the site would never have existed. Importantly, the court does not need to hear a defense from the actual website before issuing its ruling. The entire website can be condemned without a trial or even a traditional court hearing."

This is not a joke.
This is real.

We need 100,000 signatures by next week. Make one of them yours, or all these things that make you happy will disappear.

(via rushemiiaah)

Tags: sopa 2014

Athos/d’Artagnan - Addicted To You (BBC Musketeers) by sevenswells

Just a quick slash vidlet because I’m currently reading the books in French and I’m overwhelmed with feels for this OTP — I’m pretty sure Dumas ships them as much as I do, which is A LOT

You have NO IDEA how canon their love is — NO IDEA